It's been awhile....

Sometimes I wonder if my blogging days are over. It seems like the only time I get to sit down is to eat or pay bills, so finding time to sit still and write feels nearly impossible. I find myself asking "what purpose does blogging serve" when I  have so little time as it is? The thing is, I like to write. I like to  share my musings with the world, especially since my "role" in most relationships is that of a "listener". I'm not much of a "talker". I swear my husband has a larger "word quota" than I do. When my hubby gets home from work I am more likely to retreat to my room for some much needed quiet time than talk about my day.

Part of reason I haven't posted much is because I don't feel like I any "pretty pictures to post". Since my lovely DLR met an untimely end in Hawaii, all I have are grainy, out of focus photos taken on my

iPad. *sigh* Needless to say, life marches on with  all its joy, upheaval, tears, triumphs, hopes and mundane moments. Here are a few recent snapshots from my life.

Enjoying a lovely evening at our Church's 20th anniversary

Cleaning out the shop while Levi enjoys some coveted time on Nathaniel's dirt bike.  

 Taking an impromptu bath in my kitchen sink... by himself.

Amelia turned eight and invited WAAAAY too many people. I survived. Barely.

Early morning sweetness with this sweet boy

My eldest got her ears pierced!!!!

This little man stopped taking naps in January, except for the occasional snooze while watching his favorite show.

Visits with sweet friends

Beekeeping with my husband. Notice Levi in the tree behind him. We stuck him in it to keep him away from the cranky hives.

Watching daddy prune a local apple tree.

A typical breakfast: Omelette, bell peppers, avocado and some wasa rye crisps. 

Just a typical meltdown... every day... multiple times a day...

Finding beautiful spots in my neighbourhood that refresh me

Who knew that clam digging could be SO FUN!!!

Both sets of grandparents at the same table. My heart is FULL!

Love watching these men whip up incredible food in the kitchen. 

SPRING!!! 

Saying goodbye to daddy as he heads off for a week of tactical training.

Thoroughly enjoying all the gold I have been finding at value village. 

Big Island Bees

Today a girlfriend and I were talking about beekeeping and it reminded me of the beautiful apiary that Nathaniel and I visited when we were Hawaii.

 Everything about their facility was lovely; from the incredible bouquets of fresh flowers to the colors of their bee boxes.

They had a lovely viewing area where you could watch the bees hard at work.

I brought this lovely jar of Hawaiian honey home with me. The honey is as delicious as the label is beautiful! These pretty little jars got me excited about creating a label for my honey.

They had so many varieties of honey to try. I sampled Organic Ohia-Lehua Blossom; organic Wilelaiki Blossom; and Macadamia Nut Blossom. Yummy!

They had a lovely collection of vintage literature on bees.

Erin, I thought you would like this darling little whicker hive.  

I could have taken a bazillion photos of the flowers alone.

*Sigh*

Nathaniel spent the better part of an hour chatting with a beekeeper who worked at the facility.

The walls were adorned with vintage prints of flowers and  photographs of people keeping bees throughout history.

The artist who owned the facility created the most interesting pieces of art by placing sculptures in enclosures with bees and letting them cover the pieces with comb.

This little gecko was feasting on  flies in the window.

All in all it was a lovely place to visit on a date with my hubby. If you would like to know more about  Big Island Bees, click on the link.

Deeper Things: Light

A tiny sliver of light streamed across my deck and into  kitchen window this morning. I found myself mesmerized by it and what it promised.... summer, warmth,  and long unstructured days.

The feeling reminded me of times in my life when I have found my self gasping for air, longing for the "light" at the end of a long dark tunnel.  Times when I have found myself drowning under the weight of obligations and expectations all the while longing for spontaneity, quiet and adventure.

A couple months ago I felt exceptionally low; crying into my dishes,...crying into my children's cereal. I felt foggy minded, apathetic and had little desire to get dressed, leave the house or even  brush my hair.  I find I am more prone to such feelings when I have neglected to exercise, when I am not eating properly,  but most of all, when I forget to connect with my heavenly father. When I don't spend time with Him, I find myself trying to stuff the void with chocolate, shopping and mindless television. I begin to struggle with self control and become impatient with my children; seeing them more as burdens than gifts. It's like an avalanche that picks up momentum as time passes. Before I know it, I have gained five pounds, overspent, wasted valuable time, and the tainted the atmosphere of my home with my discontent and irritability. Thankfully, somewhere along the way, I am reminded that the Joy of the Lord is my strength, that He is my sustainer.  I draw near,  relinquish my sadness, disappointment, brokenness, discontent and He fills the void with His peace and joy... and I  find myself thinking for the thousandth time, "why do I keep forgetting how life giving and sustaining God's presence is"? It's like forgetting the incredible endorphin high I get after trail running in the woods and instead, stuff my face with chips while watching a re-run of "Keeping up with the Kardashians". In the moment it feels good, but afterwards I suffer the consequences of bloat and weight gain, not to mention brain rot. It takes effort to be disciplined; to put on running shoes and brave the cold air when my couch is calling and the chips are only an arms' reach away. It takes discipline to nurture the spiritual aspect of myself, especially when I feel tugged in every direction, but when I do, it has a beautiful ripple effect on everything I do and say and think.

  

Pictures from spring of 2013 in the meadow behind our home.

Double Chocolate Chocolate Macaroon Tart

photo from "Oh How She Glows"

I made this incredible Double Dark Chocolate Coconut Macaroon Tart with Levi this morning. It is  decadent, rich and an ever so satisfying dessert. When a friend brought this tart over awhile back, I was shocked to discover that  not only vegan but also gluten-free and grain-free. I am not familiar with "healthy baking" and was thoroughly impressed at how tasty it was. Sweets often give me headaches and sit like rocks in my tummy but this satisfied my craving for dark chocolate like nothing else and didn't give me a headache!

Currently: February

Listening

to Sara Groves, Cademon's Call & Audrey Assad

Getting

excited about keeping bees this spring.

Trying

to track my macros before each meal, rather than adding them up at the end of the day

Feeling

sore

Trying
to remind myself that IT IS POSSIBLE to achieve my fitness goals

Thinking
about the quote "Don't give up what you want most in life for something you "think" you want now".

Eating
sautéed cabbage, zucchini and baked chicken breast

Inhaling
the scent of the tiger lilies (my favorite)

Saving
for another digital SLR (can't decide which one)

Failing
to catch up on project life (I am still in 2016)

Wearing
a black dress top from Winners, jeans from H&M and leaf earrings from Spring

Dreaming
about long days spent on our back deck

Making
time for journaling and prayer at 6:30am... unless my children wake up needy and cranky at 6:15..

Longing
for MORE grace and patience for my children

Attempting
to meal prep two days a week

Learning
how to say "no" to snacking after dinner.... its SOOOOO hard!