She is taking her time....

On Monday, Nathaniel and I went into town to pick up my sister in law, Jill, and I managed to squeeze an appointment with my doctor in as well. I didn't expect him to give me much news, but I hoped that the baby had at least dropped lower into my pelvis. He looked surprised when he checked me and said that I was 3... nearly 4 centimeters dilated. He was surprised that I wasn't in any kind of pain and even more surprised when I told him that I was going to go home (1.5 hours away). Since then I have experienced erratic contractions and dizzy spells but nothing that indicates a need to go to the hospital. I am ever so thankful that Jill has come to stay with us for a couple of days. It is nice to know that I will be able to leave Amelia is capable hands and just focus on bringing this child into the world.... whenever that may be. I was prepared for her to come early, but hadn't really considered the fact that she may come late and I don't want to even entertain the idea of induction. BLAH!

The three of us just finished a great game of settlers of Catan and Jill pulverized us. Today we went for a great little hike, visited a ranch, and made a delicious dinner of steak, baked potatoes and veggies slathered with homemade cheese sauce. Yumm!!!! I have decided to focus on the present and enjoy the fact that I can still sleep through the night, eat my food while it is STILL warm, and take off at a moments notice. As much as I want to meet my little miss, I know that I am going to be one exhausted human when she arrives.

To move or not to move..... that is the question

Well I suppose I should update my blog, although I haven't felt like writing much these days. I have been pre-occupied with thoughts about whether or not Nathaniel and I should transfer to the island, as we had originally planned, or extend our stay in Alexis Creek for another year. Initially we were more than ready to leave. We were actually counting down the weeks until our transfer papers arrived. We were tired of feeling lonely and disconnected.December was filled with a flurry of Christmas preparations and parties, and while we enjoyed having an active social calender, we still felt lonely and disconnected. On boxing day, however, our Sergeant and his wife hosted a get together and Nathaniel and I finally got to meet two of the new families coming to Alexis Creek. Since then we have met a lot of great people (RCMP, nurses, teachers and some locals we hadn't previously met). Nathaniel started taking a fly tying course, which he is enjoying immensely and I finally have people I can visit with on a daily basis.Needless to say, our hearts have changed and now we are seriously weighing the pros and cons of leaving.


Moving to Naniamo

Pros:
1. Only a ferry ride away from my immediate family.
2. Farmers markets and grocery stores (not to mention malls)
3. To attend a big church with great music and have Christian fellowship with other believers.
4. To buy a home that has( three bedrooms, two bathrooms, big kitchen, a shop,and a fenced yard) all things we do not have here in Alexis Creek.
5. To be closer to my dear friend Heidi who is also moving to the island this spring.
6. To be able to wear high heels and go shopping on a whim (although I doubt I would have much spending money).

Cons

1. Nathaniel is not at full pay rate yet and we would struggle financially to make ends meet, especially since we would have a mortgage and we would need a second vehicle.
2. Although we have been approved to buy 400,000. + home we know that it would be wiser to buy something much cheaper, but we have NO DESIRE to live in a condo, apartment or huge row home with NO yard. We want a home with a big green yard, preferably with fruit trees and room for our chickens.
3. We have no desire to live on the edge of our pay cheque. Saving money would be nearly impossible.
4. We would most likely have to give our chickens away.
5. We would be leaving a community where we FINALLY feel connected, not to mention new friends and hobbies.
6. It would be extremely tiring and difficult to find and purchase a home in a week with a toddler and an infant.

Staying in Alexis Creek

Pros
1. Save money and live inexpensively until Nathaniel reaches full pay.
2. Spend lots of time with Holly *smile* as well as my other new friends.
3. Possibly get a dog (something Nathaniel has wanted for a long time)
4. Be able to afford a second vehicle (probably a newer car or SUV) My pick!
5. I will be able to gallop in the meadow on my favorite horse.
6. Nathaniel has a great boss and is enjoying his work more.
7. Nathaniel will have another hunting season and be able to do lots of fly fishing.



Cons
1. Long drives into town for groceries
2. My basement is a dark dungeon and my kitchen is really small.(arrgg)
3. Our yard is not fenced and Amelia is constantly running out on the road (perhaps Nathaniel can build something out of chicken wire to keep her contained)
4. The possibility of spending another summer chocking on smoke from forest fires.

A request....

I've had a few requests for my red velvet cupcake recipe. Enjoy!

Red Velvet Cupcakes

2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour*
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 oz. red food coloring (two bottles)
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two 12-cup muffin tins with cupcake papers.
2. Sift together the cake flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl; set aside. In a small bowl, mix food coloring and cocoa powder to form a thin paste without lumps; set aside.
3. In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about three minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, then beat in vanilla and the red cocoa paste, scraping down the bowl with a spatula as you go. Add one third of the flour mixture to the butter mixture, beat well, then beat in half of the buttermilk. Beat in another third of flour mixture, then second half of buttermilk. End with the last third of the flour mixture, beat until well combined, making sure to scrape down the bowl with a spatula.
4. In a small bowl, mix vinegar and baking soda. Yes, it will fizz! Add vinegar mixture to the cake batter and stir well to combine. Using an ice cream scoop, fill cupcake cups with cake batter (they should be 2/3 – 3/4 full). You may not fill all the cups, I ended up with 20 cupcakes. Place muffin tins on the middle rack of a preheated 350 degree oven. Bake for approximately 20-22 minutes, rotating pans halfway through. Cupcakes are done when a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Check early and don’t over bake!
5. Cool the cupcakes in their tins on a wire rack for 10 minutes then remove and allow to cool completely before frosting. Frost cupcakes with cream cheese icing (recipe below) and decorate as desired.


Cream Cheese Frosting

16 oz. cream cheese (2 packages), softened
1/2 cup unsalted butter (one stick), softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
pinch of salt
With an electric mixer, blend together cream cheese and butter until smooth. Turn mixer to low speed and blend in powdered sugar, salt and vanilla extract. Turn mixer on high and beat until light and fluffy. Use immediately or refrigerate, covered, until ready to use. If refrigerated, the frosting will need to be brought to room temperature before using (after frosting softens up, beat with mixer until smooth).
Recipe Notes: If you prefer a sweeter and/or stiffer frosting, more powdered sugar can be added (up to four cups). But remember, the more sugar you add, the less you’ll be able to taste the tangy cream cheese!

The girl with the dream camera.....

Have I mentioned that I absolutely LOVE my new camera!!!!!!! I woke up yesterday morning to find it waiting for me on our kitchen table. Nathaniel had ordered it about two weeks ago and I was hoping that it would arrive in time for Claire's birth. I was not looking to having to rely on our defunct, outdated camera to capture the special moments. I had looked into the possibility of hiring a photographer for this birth, but it proved to be far too expensive. I'm hoping that between Nathaniel and my doula, they will be able to take some great photos.





When our camera finally arrived,I didn't waste any time assembling it, charging the battery and pouring over my manual. Normally I don't drive into anything too heavy over my toast and tea, but I was so eager to familiarize myself with my rather intimidatingly large camera. I have since learned about metering, exposure compensation and a whole bunch of other neat things. It feels really great in my hands and I can't help but feel giddy about the shutter speed and quality of photos. I have waited for this camera for SO long and it was worth the wait. Today while we were at the park with Amelia Nathaniel, my husband, picked it up for awhile and snapped a few shots. It wasn't long before he looked at me and said "oh, wow, this is fun"! Perhaps tomorrow, if the sun graces us with its presence again, I will ask Nathaniel to take some photos of my pregnant belly. I doubt I am going to get much bigger than I am right now - my belly button actually popped out this time! I am quite in love with my pregnant form and want to capture it in its full glory before it vanishes.

Some days....

Some days I feel really productive, energetic and creative and other days I feel like a mess. Today I felt like a giant mess. I stayed up too late last night watching a heart wrenching documentary about human trafficking, and then couldn't fall asleep until after midnight. Amelia woke up the next morning two hours earlier than she normally does, due to a soaking wet diaper, and then decided to remain awake. I spent the majority of the day in the horizontal position, ate too much chocolate and sort of of shuffled dishes and laundry around the house until after dinner when I experienced a small burst of energy. It is 9pm now and I feel wasted. I hope I wake up feeling more energetic tomorrow. I have a prenatal appointment in town and I am actually looking forward to the 112km drive there and back. Amelia will the spending the day with her daddy so I will have time to daydream, listen to loud music, grab a Starbucks and shop for my groceries at leisurely pace.

Tonight I had planned on packing my bag for the hospital, but just looking at my list of things to bring makes me feel anxious. I finally found someone who is willing to take care of Amelia when I go into labour, but I still don't like the thought of leaving her, especially since I don't know what time of day or night it will be. Honestly, I am just feeling overwhelmed about everything these days.... from the simple stuff like what to make for dinner to trying to decide what kind of home we want to buy in a few short months. I found this lovely little house on mls. ca earlier today only to discover that there was an accepted offer made on it a few days ago.



Nevertheless, I am confidant that the Lord has a great little place in store for us and I need to remember that He is faithful to us... in the small things as well as the big.

A few thoughts on adoption...

I can't quite remember how I found this photo, but for some reason it really captured my attention.Perhaps, it is because adoption is something that has been on my heart for the last year or the fact that the youngest girl in this photo reminds me of my own daughter Amelia. Consequently, I found this family's blog which is entitled "rage against the minivan" and was hooked.Here is a link to their adoption storey. It is quite a powerful.... be prepared to cry.



Adoption is terrifying, fascinating, heart breaking, life changing and something I can't get out of my head. Here I am, on the cusp of birthing my second child, and I can't help but think about all of those other children in the world that have been abandoned by their families. It breaks my heart when I think about the fact that many children spend their lives shuffled from one orphanage to another, unloved and neglected. It just seems so unfair. Life isn't fair, I know that, but its horribly unfortunate that children are often its primary victims.