Things that made me smile today

This face: curls, boogers and blue eyes



These flowers: I LOVE lilacs and couldn't help but pick an armload of them in the town the other day. now they sit on my kitchen table and fill the house with their delicious scent.



This hair: she is sporting quite the Mohawk these days.



This sandwich: Fresh eggs on rye bread for lunch



This photo from pintrest: I love how at first glance it looks like a caterpillar.

Loosing weight

Last week I decided it was a time to start working towards getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Whenever I need to loose some weight or eat healthier I use a website called sparkpeople.com. It is great for tracking calories and nutrition and helps me pay attention to portions. For the most part I eat healthfully, but I often eat too much. This week I measured my food, didn't eat after 8pm and I lost three pounds!!!!!! Hopefully within another month I will be back to my regular weight. I have been wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans since I gave birth to Claire, but they have been pretty tight and I wouldn't dare wear them without spanx. I am looking forward to starting a fitness regime, but the craziness of having two children has not permitted me to do so yet. I can't wait to start running on the trail behind my house.

Our new means of transport

I never knew that buying a new vehicle could be SO stressful. In the past, Nathaniel and I have always bought inexpensive second hand vehicles, but we knew the time had come to buy something more dependable. Nathaniel and I had been thinking about getting a new or newer vehicle for some time, especially since our current means of transport was getting old and its repairs were more expensive than it was worth. Initially we had planned on buying a Toyota land cruiser from Japan, but then decided that it was going to take too long. After much deliberation, and research we decided on a 2010 Dodge Journey R/T AWD. It satisfied my desire for air conditioning, leather seats and enough room for two more children (should we choose to have more). We had entertained the possibly of getting mini van but I am just not ready to go there *yet* :0)

Here is a photo of my new wheels.



Today I finally got a chance to take it out for a spin on my own, and I sobbed my little heart out. It felt so good to blare the music, drive fast and let the tears and snot fly. I don't exactly know the source of my anguish but I do know that the process of buying this vehicle triggered me. I'm turning 29 in a matter of days and I feel like an adult. It is scary, unnerving, and heart breaking. I am not afraid of growing older. I am not afraid of grey hair, wrinkles, or the lovely wisdom that comes with time. I am afraid that responsibility, mommy hood, marriage, and life have taken their toll on me and that "I" have gotten lost in the chaos and intensity of it all. I'm afraid that I am no longer adventurous, fun, interesting, beautiful or outgoing. Letting go of our trusty 4 runner and all the great memories Nathaniel and I have had in it was really hard. In a way I felt like was surrendering my youth and freedom. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the fancy smancy new SUV/crossover in my driveway but I don't necessarily like what it represents. Not only that, Nathaniel and I have been debt free for so long that the mere thought of being in debt again gives me heart palpitations. Ahhh. I guess this is a part of growing up and I'll get used to it.

A good day at the post office

( Note the garden I am in the process of digging out along the fence line - I am planning on planting a gazillion sunflowers there).

A friend called me to let me know that she saw a parcel for me at the post office. WHI HOOO! Needless to say I hurried my happy little self down there as soon as I had the chance. When I got to the post office I was delighted to discover that, in fact, there were two parcels for me as well as some letters. *Bliss*. I've had some great snail mail over the past couple of weeks and I am feeling ever so loved. When I first moved here, my dear friend Cristina would send me monthly care packages stuffed stuffed to the brim with all sorts of scrap booking supplies and other thoughtful things. Aren't care packages THE BEST! My mom also blesses me with frequent packages and I appreciate it immensely. Straight up handwritten letters and cards are also delightful to received. Awhile ago I started a "card a month club" but I have since fallen miserably behind. As soon as Claire starts going to bed at a decent hour I will be able to reclaim my creative time at the end of the day and start making more cards. I first started making cards with my friend Cristina. It is one of our favorite things to go together. We usually order pizza, drink wine and chat the evening away over pretty paper. I miss her. This is a photo of the two of us doing our other favorite thing: shopping in Fort Langley and cooing over all the lovely boutiques.


( I am seriously pregnant in this photo)

Choose Joy

Since little Claire came along life around here has gotten a lot busier and I haven't had as much time to play with Amelia, let alone keep my home clean or workout. It is hard to let things go, especially when I have standards that I can't keep up with. Thankfully, Nathaniel has been exceptionally good about filling in the gaps, taking Amelia for hours at a time, doing the dishes and giving me some down time. Unfortunately, I don't always appreciate the things he does and sometimes choose be whiny and ungrateful. Mornings are particularly tough and I tend to be more grumpy towards him than usual. As a result, I have been making a conscious effort to try and choose joy over misery.




Today is Nathaniel's first day off in nearly two weeks and I couldn't be more relieved. It has been a tough week and I am looking forward to having him home again. I couldn't imagine if my husband worked for the military and was deployed for months at a time. Ouch! Some men and women, in developing countries, are forced to leave their families for years at a time to find employment. They send their paychecks home to keep their loved ones from starving, and live in cramped quarters with very little. When I consider such things I am horrified that I ever complain about anything. My life is a fairytale compared to so many people's lives. My husband is faithful, my children are healthy, I have a home and food in my fridge, I have options, choices, freedom, friends who love me, my parents are still married, I have traveled the world, I am able to have dreams and goals, I have savings, and I serve a God that adores me despite my failings. *Sigh* I am blessed.


Here is a precious photo of my hubby taking a sliver out of Amelia's hand.



Count your blessings. Name them one. by. one.


Jocelyn

Where I am at these days....

Creativity:

I haven't had much time or energy for creativity, but my mind hums with things I would like to make in the near future. In the meantime i have been browsing my favorite sites for inspiration and ideas. One of my new favorite is a site called pintrest

When I can't create, I like to organize and de-junk my supplies. My craft room now doubles as our TV room now that we have cable television (for the first time in our married lives), so I have made space for a couch as well as some creative space for Amelia. Now that she is older she has her own stash of craft supplies as well as a painting and chalkboard easel.



Breastfeeding:

I am finding breastfeeding more challenging this time around. These are the reasons why:

1. I got mastitis two weeks after Claire was born. Ouch.

2. It has taken 5 weeks for Claire to latch onto my left breast, which means I have been pumping that side like crazy (to avoid getting mastitis again). I feel a little like a dairy cow. The upside of this, is the fact that Nathaniel can bottle feed Claire when I need a break or want to spend some quality time with Amelia.

3. Breastfeeding dominates at least 90% of my day (or at least it feels that way). When I only had one child I could easily spend that time reading, watching a movie, scrapbook, or visiting with a friend, but now I have a sweet little toddler that wants to spend every waking moment with me.

4.I find that I am growing more and more uncomfortable with my breasts and eagerly looking forward to the day when I can get a reduction. I was horrified the other day when I checked the label on one of my nursing bras and it said G! Breastfeeding bras(at least in my experience )are not flattering or supportive.

5. I have to consider what kind of bra I am going to wear, and whether or not my shirt is "breastfeeding friendly"(ie: easy access).

5. I actually get stressed out when I have to breastfeed in public. I find this odd, considering I was extremely confident and vocal about breastfeeding in public with Amelia.

6. I leak. I never leaked with my first child. It weirds me out.

That being said.... I should share some of the things I am loving about being able to breastfeed again. Here is what I came up with:

1) I am immensely thankful that I am able to breastfeed. Many women are unable to despite their attempts.

2) I love how Claire's eyes get bright and excited just before she latches on. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye and snuffles away like a happy pig in the mud. Not only that, she paws at me like a little kitten and scrunches up her nose when she is finished. It makes me heart melt like chocolate on a hot day.

3. Not having to spend money on formula.

4. That my milk is available 24/7 and always the perfect temperature.

My book of friends (in progress)

I have been thinking a lot about friendship the past couple of days. Last year I started a scrapbook to celebrate some of my dearest friendships and I have been meaning to share it on my blog for some time. I have only completed a couple pages, but I am looking forward to adding more in the near future.

Q & A

Girlhood dream: To be punk rock artist, a marine biologist or a dietitian.

Favorite all time bands: Switchfoot and Third Day

I always envisioned myself as: a mom of three boys

Favorite color: dark red wine

I'm embarrassed about the fact that: I am still driving with an N on my vehicle.

Favorite body parts: My skin, hands, and legs.

What do you collect? Tin stars, vintage utensils, and textiles from abroad.

Favorite exotic location: A city called Stone town on an island called Zanzibar in Tanzania, Africa

Favorite desserts:: Chocolate eclairs with fresh raspberries, new york cheesecake, strawberry rhubarb pie, and tuxedo cake.

What is your first memory? Being forced to eat spaghetti at a family reunion and crying because I thought it looked like blood and worms.

Greatest accomplishment: The birth of my two girls and completing a 115km triathlon.

Words I use to describe myself: Creative, adventurous, observant, goal oriented, outgoing, friendly, and outdoorsy.

Dreams for the future: Become a doula, good photographer, complete an iron man (twice the distance of my first triathlon), and possibly get a masters degree.

Creative aspirations: learn how to sew and crochet.

Looking forward to... Having a breast reduction after I finish having children

Current goal: getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight so that I can comfortably fit into my summer clothes.

If you had to only eat three things for the rest of your life, day in and day out, what would they be? Blueberries, yogurt and potatoes.

Favorite ways to relax. Sip a hot cup of tea and look at a home decorating magazine, play dress up, create something, and re-arrange the furniture in my home.

I'd love to know more about you. Respond to the questions in the comments section and you will be entered to win a prize.