Do you ever wonder...

Do you ever have days where you question whether or not you are giving your child the best possible childhood? Whether or not you are spending enough time with them - teaching, instructing, playing, and disciplining. I do. On a regular basis. I spend a great deal of time feeling guilty actually. At the end of the day I ask myself - what did I do to enrich my daughters lives today? Most days I don't feel as though I have done anything particularly fun or interesting. I am no longer in survival mode, but I always find cleaning my home more appealing than playing with my children. I am embarrassed to admit that, but it is true. I truly want my children's days to be full of good things... imaginative play, nutritious snacks, laughter, adventures outside, and creative endeavours but I don't always have the energy or the time to make it happen.... or do I? It is said that you make time for the things that really matter to you. So what are my priorities? What REALLY matters to me? This is the question I find myself asking. Whether or not there are dishes in the sink, should not be of any consequence! There will ALWAYS be more dishes, but the time I have with my children is fleeting.

Instead of worrying about the mess and the noise I need to focus on enjoying my children. Lately I have started to try and focus on doing things that I genuinely enjoy so that my time with them is not half hearted. For me, that means making forts, baking cookies, building Lego towers, chasing them around the house giggling, playing tickle games on the carpet, racing cars down the hallway, going for walks in the woods, singing songs, and painting. I have to remember that soon this precious time will be over and my children will more concerned about spending time with their friends than with their momma. Right now I am their world - their sun and their moon and I need to cherish that fact.

I remember once hearing a mother say that at the end of the day she couldn't remember if she had even taken the time the look her children in the eye and tell them that she loved them. So often I find myself in autopilot just trying to get things done, make sure the children are fed, clean, rested and that dinner is on the table. It is often not until the children are bathed, dressed and in there beds that I have a moment to reflect on the day. So, recently Amelia and I have started thanking Jesus for all the good things that took place. She quints her eyes tight and smiles big and then bellows a huge Amen. Then I tell her I love her and give her a big smooch. It is the perfect way to end the day.