It has been a challenging month.
*Sigh*
The kind of month that leaves you weary to your bones and wondering if your sanity is the next thing to go.
It started a couple weeks ago when Claire touched the stove element and burnt her hand. It
blistered almost immediately and she howled for hours while we did our best to keep her hand in a cup of cold water. It was a struggle to keep it bandaged, but we did our best and it has healed well. I have never seen her so miserable in her life. Little did I know that things could get worse. The following week she got a fever that lasted for two days. Initially, I thought it was because her molars were coming in (which they were) but then, while we were on the ferry, Nate noticed some blisters on her hand and in her mouth. It didn't take me long for me to put the pieces together and realize that Claire had something called hand foot and mouth disease. The only reason I knew is because a couple of my friends had just gone through it with their children and I remember hearing them talk about the symptoms.
In the days that followed Claire, cried incessantly and reminded us what sleep deprivation felt like. She hardly ate anything other than yogurt and pancakes. There were times where I felt like I was loosing my mind. Nathaniel found me curled up in a corner crying on more than one occasion. It has been difficult seeing her in pain and not being able to make her feel better. Not to mention the fact that the constant whining has worn my patience and sanity to a nub.
Yes, folks....life in the Lord household is not all apple picking adventures and whoppee pie tasting.
I suppose I could share the less glamorous aspects of my life more often, and trust me, there are many, but I would rather share the things that bring me joy. But since I have already opened one can of worms I might as well tell you that we dealt with an epic case of head lice in September, that Nathaniel dislocated his shoulder and might need surgery and that I am feeling very insecure as a mother and how I parent my children.. I could also tell you that I am not excited about Christmas, that I am tired and I am questioning whether I want to go ahead with being a foster parent. I love my children but I don't always like them, and I think I am a bit obsessive compulsive at times.
How is that for a can of worms?
3 comments:
Sorry to hear about your month. I felt exhausted just reading about it. So sad reading about little Claire and not being able to help her feel better. Just know that even though you feel otherwise you are an AMAZING Mama, you can see the love you have for your girls all over you! Hopefully December will be better. Amazed you managed to host such an amazing craft party too amongst all the craziness, thank you for that!
Hugs my friend. I too feel weary at times and wonder "what are we doing?" We are bringing another child in to this world and sometimes I don't feel I can handle the two we have! Just being honest. God knows though and we need to be grateful. He has blessed us and really, we are excited about the arrival of our third baby.
Hang in there!
~Caroline
Love how you changed the header of your blog by the way!
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