Body image

I did a great Jari Love workout video this evening after I put my girls to bed. It felt good to sweat and feel my muscles burn. While I am huffing and puffing away I often want to stop, but when I finish what I start I feel so proud of myself. I know that I have been out of shape in the past and I always managed to get back into shape again with a little determination and dedication. I know that I need to loose at least 10 pounds to get back to my pre pregnancy weight. In the first few weeks after I gave birth to Claire, the pounds just melted away. Every morning I would step on the scale and marvel at how much I had lost overnight. While breastfeeding burns anywhere from 200 - 500 calories a day (hallelujah) I still need to workout if I want to get my body back into shape. I have been trying to watch calorie intake these days and have been focusing on portion control. I have never had a problem choosing healthy foods, but I often eat too much. I LOOOOOVE yummy food. The funny thing is that I like my body more now than I ever did before. I may not like how clothing fits me at the moment, but I feel more gracious towards myself, more loving. I don't look hatefully at certain parts of myself anymore... I see my imperfections and I think - "ahh that will be resolved in time and if it isn't that is okay". More than anything I want to feel strong and healthy. I don;t care about having a flat stomach or thin legs as much as I care about being able to run a marathon and do 20 "real" push-ups. I don't expect perfection but I do expect my jeans to fit me. I do, however, look forward to having a breast reduction and only having to wear only one bra. I have always wanted to wear a spaghetti strap sundress or bathing suit top without spilling out everywhere. I'm appreciative of the fact that my husband adores me just as I am. I think it is funny that he thinks I always look the same, although my form has most certainly changed over the years. I know that I will never be petite but that is okay with me. Even when I was in the best shape of my life I was still curvaceous. The above photo was taken in 2009 when Nathaniel and I were traveling in Thailand. Hmmmm, those were some good times.

Pepperoni pizza puffs

I made a batch of these tonight for supper. They were scrumptious.





Here is the link to the recipe if you want to try it out.

On sunny days and rainy days.....

Spring has finally arrived here in the Chilcotin and everything is a glorious shade of green. We have received a lot more rain this year than in previous years. Hopefully that means that we won't have as many many forest fires this summer.


On the rainy days.....

1) I finally started scrap booking again, now that Claire has settled into a routine. I have had a collection of old papers, letters and photos that I found in an attic some time ago and now I am attempting to put them into a scrapbook. Here is a sneak peek:



2) I cleared out my craft room: (this is the BEFORE photo)




.... and painted the floor to brighten up the space a bit: (the AFTER photo)



3) Have had a lot of picnics on the floor with my girls:



4) Finger painting..




On the sunny days we have been....

1) Planting our garden:This year we have three gardens and a greenhouse, so we are going to be swimming in vegetables.



2) Getting acquainted with the newest addition to the family: A five month old treeing walker hound. Nathaniel named him Chester.



3) Enjoying bright blue skies and fields of weeds... I mean flowers.



4) Going to the lake.



5) Playing with the mud (there is a lot of it here when it rains).



6) Digging out garden bed for my flowers: I started this one when I was 10 days overdue with Claire and I only just started to tackle it again.

Things that made me smile today

This face: curls, boogers and blue eyes



These flowers: I LOVE lilacs and couldn't help but pick an armload of them in the town the other day. now they sit on my kitchen table and fill the house with their delicious scent.



This hair: she is sporting quite the Mohawk these days.



This sandwich: Fresh eggs on rye bread for lunch



This photo from pintrest: I love how at first glance it looks like a caterpillar.

Loosing weight

Last week I decided it was a time to start working towards getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Whenever I need to loose some weight or eat healthier I use a website called sparkpeople.com. It is great for tracking calories and nutrition and helps me pay attention to portions. For the most part I eat healthfully, but I often eat too much. This week I measured my food, didn't eat after 8pm and I lost three pounds!!!!!! Hopefully within another month I will be back to my regular weight. I have been wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans since I gave birth to Claire, but they have been pretty tight and I wouldn't dare wear them without spanx. I am looking forward to starting a fitness regime, but the craziness of having two children has not permitted me to do so yet. I can't wait to start running on the trail behind my house.

Our new means of transport

I never knew that buying a new vehicle could be SO stressful. In the past, Nathaniel and I have always bought inexpensive second hand vehicles, but we knew the time had come to buy something more dependable. Nathaniel and I had been thinking about getting a new or newer vehicle for some time, especially since our current means of transport was getting old and its repairs were more expensive than it was worth. Initially we had planned on buying a Toyota land cruiser from Japan, but then decided that it was going to take too long. After much deliberation, and research we decided on a 2010 Dodge Journey R/T AWD. It satisfied my desire for air conditioning, leather seats and enough room for two more children (should we choose to have more). We had entertained the possibly of getting mini van but I am just not ready to go there *yet* :0)

Here is a photo of my new wheels.



Today I finally got a chance to take it out for a spin on my own, and I sobbed my little heart out. It felt so good to blare the music, drive fast and let the tears and snot fly. I don't exactly know the source of my anguish but I do know that the process of buying this vehicle triggered me. I'm turning 29 in a matter of days and I feel like an adult. It is scary, unnerving, and heart breaking. I am not afraid of growing older. I am not afraid of grey hair, wrinkles, or the lovely wisdom that comes with time. I am afraid that responsibility, mommy hood, marriage, and life have taken their toll on me and that "I" have gotten lost in the chaos and intensity of it all. I'm afraid that I am no longer adventurous, fun, interesting, beautiful or outgoing. Letting go of our trusty 4 runner and all the great memories Nathaniel and I have had in it was really hard. In a way I felt like was surrendering my youth and freedom. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the fancy smancy new SUV/crossover in my driveway but I don't necessarily like what it represents. Not only that, Nathaniel and I have been debt free for so long that the mere thought of being in debt again gives me heart palpitations. Ahhh. I guess this is a part of growing up and I'll get used to it.

A good day at the post office

( Note the garden I am in the process of digging out along the fence line - I am planning on planting a gazillion sunflowers there).

A friend called me to let me know that she saw a parcel for me at the post office. WHI HOOO! Needless to say I hurried my happy little self down there as soon as I had the chance. When I got to the post office I was delighted to discover that, in fact, there were two parcels for me as well as some letters. *Bliss*. I've had some great snail mail over the past couple of weeks and I am feeling ever so loved. When I first moved here, my dear friend Cristina would send me monthly care packages stuffed stuffed to the brim with all sorts of scrap booking supplies and other thoughtful things. Aren't care packages THE BEST! My mom also blesses me with frequent packages and I appreciate it immensely. Straight up handwritten letters and cards are also delightful to received. Awhile ago I started a "card a month club" but I have since fallen miserably behind. As soon as Claire starts going to bed at a decent hour I will be able to reclaim my creative time at the end of the day and start making more cards. I first started making cards with my friend Cristina. It is one of our favorite things to go together. We usually order pizza, drink wine and chat the evening away over pretty paper. I miss her. This is a photo of the two of us doing our other favorite thing: shopping in Fort Langley and cooing over all the lovely boutiques.


( I am seriously pregnant in this photo)