Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Learning from loss

Last February I began to fantasize about the day I would be able to post pictures of our family frolicking on our newly purchased property. I began to dream of a life on 22 acres of rolling hills with 900 ft of river frontage.   Letting go of it was much harder than I ever imagined.  

Even though we committed every step to the Lord along the way, I  still found myself grieving the loss of that dream. 

It all began one day when Nathaniel came home from work and he said something along the lines of "I feel ready for a change", lets start looking at acreages". I immediately jumped at the idea and started doing some research. A week or two later Nate half jokingly sent a listing for acreage to my parents that said " hey look what we could get if we were to pool our resources". Surprisingly, they jumped at the idea and two weeks later they came over to the island to look at a few acreages in Coombs with us. The next day my dad spotted a property in Port Alberni and decided to check it out. They encouraged us to do the same when we had a chance. It was pretty much love at first sight.

After a great deal of prayer and number crunching we submitted an offer through a  realtor friend. We never heard back from the seller. A couple months later I noticed that her listing had been removed from mls. I called her to ask if she had decided not to sell. She said that she was willing to sell to us but wanted a higher offer. After a couple weeks of negotiating via email  we agreed to a purchase price. We submitted another offer. No response. She said that she couldn't sell her property until she had found something to replace it, as she had horses to care for, so we waited a couple more months while she searched for properties. Eventually she found a property she liked. We all breathed a huge sigh of relief only to discover that we would have to wait another month to remove subjects. A couple days before my parents moved a shipping container to the property, as she had previously give us permission to do so, she suddenly changed her mind and decided that she no longer wanted to sell. 

We were devastated.

Needless to say, there were tears, frustration, bewilderment and sorrow. Thankfully, I  learned a great deal from the experience; namely how to wait,  handle disappointment and  grieve. I can look at these photos without a lump in my throat.

We still long to have acreage, but we are content to wait patiently for the right time and place. We continue to look at properties and trust the Lord to lead us when the time is right. 

A Boy Is...

A Boy Is...
Trust with dirt on its face,
Beauty with a cut on its finger,
Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair, and the
Hope of the future with
A frog in its pocket

- unknown


I'm going to assume that winter is over. 
Beautiful as it has been, I am ready for carpets of crocuses, daffodils and tulips.
I am ready to turn the soil over in our garden and watch the world turn green.

That being said, I wanted to share a few snapshots from a snowfall that we recently had.
It was glorious, unexpected and beautiful.


Friday, February 9, 2018

Currently: February

about the days when I lived in the Chilcotin and life was simple but also incredibly lonely at times

about India. It was such an incredible feast for the senses

heaps of balsamic chicken salads sprinkled with pecans, cranberries, feta and strawberries

to Switchfoot: Where the Light Shines Through 

my husbands RCMP T shirt, a pair of cozy sweats and Padraig slippers

for a home in the country

when I see snowdrops blooming in clusters under trees

not to eat after 7pm in the evening. All I want to do is stuff my face with salty, crunchy things

out at the gym an average of four days a week

I could sit down and write more often.

this amazing essay written by Lori Manry

working two days a week at the RCMP detachment as a Victim Service Caseworker. 

down the days until my breast reduction

focused, slight exasperated, and hungry

about warmer days filled with picking berries and exploring riverbeds

Saturday, December 16, 2017

2017 Christmas Letter

Hello Friends and Family,

I don’t know about you, but this year just FLEW by! In January we took an epic trip to the big island of Hawaii with extended family. It was nice to leave the cold and spend two weeks frolicking in the waves, exploring the jungle, swimming and enjoying paradise. We stayed in a lovely home perched on the mountain overlooking the ocean. On any given day we picked oranges, grapefruit, coconut and passion fruit. We saw plenty of turtles and Amelia and I managed to spot a mantra ray while snorkelling together.

We attempted to buy twenty two acres in Port Alberni with my parents this year but had to walk away when the seller had a change of heart.  We were heart broken. We still long to buy acreage where we can keep Nate’s bees, expand our garden and possibly keep sheep and chickens, but we are content to remain in Nanaimo until that time comes. In the meantime, we are thrilled that my parents have purchased a home on the island.  Nathaniel harvested over 370lbs of honey from his hives this year! Amelia kept her own hive this year and was overjoyed to be able to bottle her own honey under the name “Busy Bee Honey”. We are still gardening at the five acre farm down the road and this year we enjoyed growing watermelon and pumpkins in addition to heaps of cherry tomatoes, beans, kale, potatoes, brussel sprouts and lettuce. We are continuing to lead a connect group on Wednesday evening’s and I am leading a mom’s group on Thursday mornings. I have learned what a joy it is to have a home filled to the brim with people.

This summer we camped on Gabriola Island for a week while our children went to Vacation Bible School in the morning. In the afternoon we went cliff jumping, paddle boarding and swam in the ocean until we were prunes.  A week later we headed to Sointula with the Dodds family and enjoyed a week of beach combing, crabbing, cycling, hiking and eating  LOTS of good food. Other than that, we stuck close to home and spent our days swimming in the river and picking berries.

Nathaniel is enjoying his work on the bike unit and was happy to have his position extended for another year. He will be taking a short break in January to have ankle surgery. To his delight he was able to shoot a four point buck with his bow this winter and has enjoyed taking the girls  duck hunting.  I am still working as a Birth Doula, and have supported a few clients this year.  In the spring I applied for security clearance with the RCMP and began my training to become a victim service worker. Since I completed my training I have begun working at the detachment two days a week.   Amelia is eight now and throughly enjoys playing soccer, drawing and playing with her friends. The highlight of her summer was catching four baby bunnies.  Claire is throughly enjoying gymnastics and spends the majority of her day upside doing handstands or swinging around the makeshift uneven bars that Nathaniel constructed for her in the backyard. She is in grade two this year. Levi is three and attending preschool two mornings a week. He has become quite chatty and spends hours playing with his trucks regardless of the weather. I had no idea I could love a little boy so much!

We hope that this letter finds you well. May your heart be filled with love as we celebrate the birth of love itself!

Love the Lord Family! (Nathaniel, Jocelyn, Amelia, Claire, and Levi)

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Currently: November

My new black skinny jeans, knock off pearl earrings and a plaid button up. 

sliced bananas topped with Adams peanut butter,  walnuts and cinnamon. It's totally my favorite snack these days.

forward to making some coconut macaroons that I tried at a birth a couple weeks ago. They were incredibly delicious and satisfying. 

 about SEX... this morning it was the topic of discussion at our mom's bible study group. I am leading the group this year so I get to pick the topics, and if you know me... you know that "sex" is one of my favorite topics :0)

to write my annual Christmas letter. This past year has been such a whirlwind. 

the beginnings of a cold. I felt a tickle in my throat when I woke up last night for the millionth time to cuddle Levi back to sleep as he has been quite sick. I almost ALWAYS get a wretched cold in December. 

on my chin ups. I am determined to be able to do 10 in a row by Christmas. 

a getaway to Victoria with my hubby to celebrate 14 years of marriage. 

to Chris Tomlin's ADORE CD on repeat. 

to spend less this Christmas.

 about taking the kiddos to the" Ladysmith Light Up" tonight. 

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

My heart's cry

The lyrics to this song echo my hearts cry these days.........

"Trust In You"
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I've tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There's not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!
You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There's not a place where I'll go, You've not already stood

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!