Make room for intimacy

How do we cultivate an atmosphere within the church that embraces people in their broken places? How do we create space for open, raw and vulnerable conversation about how hard life can be.  Lately I have found myself sitting at kitchen tables, hands wrapped around tea and witnessing hearts unravel. Witnessing loneliness and depression in its most crippling form.   

Let's just address the reality that being a Christian does not make you immune to pain, brokenness, heart break and despair. Sometimes it can actually make you lonelier because there is the unspoken expectation that you need to pretend that everything is fine.  Sometimes it feels like the church is full of "happy, shiny, unrelatable people" but I know that this is not true. I know that many are suffering silently. Let's not let that happen on our watch.  At connect group last night we were joking about difficult it can be to connect with people in a meaningful way at church when  your children are running circles around the building and impatient to get home and have lunch. There isn't time to adequately answer the question: "How are you" or have any conversation of substance.   Let's make more space for people to answer the question "how are you"? 

I think that is why I have become so passionate about small groups meeting together on a regular basis to share their hearts, sorrows, revelations, and food. We need community- especially after the mess of the past eighteen months. We need connection, vulnerability and physical closeness. Zoom cannot possibly replace the beauty of that. Our home isn't finished, in fact we are down to one unfinished bathroom, our deck is non-existent and our property currently smells but chicken poo. It's not about creating the perfect environment. It's about hospitality. It's about glorifying our Lord through the simple act of opening one's doors and saying "come as you are". Don't wait until your environment is perfect to welcome people into it. Welcome them into your renovation, counter piled with dishes and noise. We were created for community. If we rub shoulders enough, we can speak hope and life into another. 

I love that I have cultivated an environment of honesty in my relationships. It has come through sharing my own brokenness, of asking hard, uncomfortable questions and sitting with people in those hard uncomfortable responses. There is no room for pretending. If you want to be friends with me I am going to invite you into the beautiful world of vulnerability. Why? Because I believe that we are supposed to carry each other. We cannot possibly expect our spouses/partners to carry that burden alone. It is meant to be shared by many. We all have unique gifting's and experiences that can bring hope, encouragement, and life to people in the trenches of life. None of us are immune to the rigors of life, loss, depression, sorrow, grief, and disappointment. Life is rife with it. Let's stop pretending that our lives are Instagram posts. While there is a place for this.  I am more in favour of  rubbing shoulders, prayer, and intimacy in real time.