Currently: June

Loving

my new eyelashes from a salon/spa in town called House of Kiyo.

Neglecting

to deal with my email inbox. I currently have 2042 unread emails. Gah!

Wearing

my favorite jean and lace cut-offs from bootlegger, a sheer pink tank top and a first nations inspired beaded necklace.

Daydreaming

about the regimental ball I went to in Victoria with my hubby this past weekend

Looking

forward to spending lots of time at the river

Enjoying

my new earrings made from bicycle tires by Rose Pedals Jewelry

Anticipating

a birth

Planting

white and blue delphinium's in my front garden

Trying

to scrapbook my December Daily album.... in June

Planning

out my summer

Hoping

I have the resolve to keep eating clean through the summer

Deeper Things: Love

I don't know how old I was, maybe eight or nine, but I remember picketing with my grandmother in front  of an abortion clinic in Ontario one summer. At the time, I didn't really understand what we were doing, but it felt purposeful. I don't remember what the sign I was carrying said, but I remember walking in circles around the clinic. I remember thinking that my grandmother was a warrior and I admired her passion and her fearlessness. While I admire her immensely  I couldn't fathom doing something like that again. Not because I am afraid , I'm pretty fearless, but because it isn't loving.

Furthermore, I  don't think that's how Jesus would have handled things.

As much as abortion makes my heart ache, Jesus gave humanity the freedom to make choices whether they are life giving or otherwise. We are not responsible for others actions but we have been called to love. Period. Being loving means supporting someone when they decide to make the decision to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, love means walking them through the heartache and speaking life and hope and grace into their lives.

I understand righteous indignation, I understand wanting to save babies lives, but I don't think that we will ever achieve that through shaming, condemning or pointing

fingers.

As a Doula, I am passionate about providing women with information so that they can make informed decisions about their pregnancy, birth and postpartum. My job to is prepare women and then support their decisions along the way. My job isn't to dictate a women's journey so that she achieves my vision of a "dream birth". My job is to help her feel supported and empowered regardless of how her birth unfolds.

I think this is how we need to approach women with unwanted pregnancies. They need to know what their options are, and have support regardless of the choice they make. They need to have the facts but they also need to feel supported regardless of what  they choose. That's why I love our local

Crossroads Pregnancy Center. They are an amazing non profit facility that does just that. They offer free pregnancy tests, options counselling, post adoption support and counselling, miscarriage support, parental support and counselling, and free baby supplies. They are amazing!!!!

If you would like to partner with crossroads pregnancy center you can support them by clicking HERE.

Deeper Thoughts" "Who do you say that I am"?

I often like to listen to worship music when I am cooking dinner or washing a mountain of dishes at the end of the day. It drowns out the sound of my children bickering and helps keep my heart in the right place. A couple months ago, I was listening to music on spotify when "Let it be Jesus"  by Christy Nockels started playing. I suddenly found my heavy heart springing to life.

In that instance, my heart was particularly heavy, especially in the wake of

reading a book called "How Jesus became God" by Bard D. Ehrman. It's a book that I have wanted to read ever since I spotted it at chapters a couple years ago. It deals with a difficult and intimidating topic but one that I have been thinking about researching for some time.

Some people are able to accept things easily, but for some reason, I continually wrestle with my faith and beliefs. Perhaps it is because one time a  friend said "maybe you believe what you believe because you want to it to be real so badly". Nevertheless, I  find myself continually examining my beliefs, weighing them, testing them and ultimately, challenging them. I refuse to believe something just because I have been told to or because I "should".

The topic of Jesus is one that I am heavily invested in. Why?

Who Jesus IS MATTERS to me. It is the crux of my faith. If Jesus is not God, it changes EVERYTHING. If Jesus is not 'the visible image of the invisible God", then my understanding of who God  is, is flawed and incomplete. It means I only have half the picture. It means that the only aspects of God that I know are those that are demonstrated in the first half of the Bible.  It means that we have not been liberated from the old system that was in place during in the Old Testament among MANY other things.  If Jesus is not God, then I am following someone who was either delusional or skilled at convincing people that he was God.

Many people believe that he was a good man, a prophet, or a teacher. Others believe that Jesus was Satan's brother, a glorified man, wise man, or an apostle of God.

In Mark 8:28 Jesus asks, "Who do you say that I am"?

Now that is a powerful question!

This morning I was listening to "Barabas" from Judah Smith's "Jesus_Is" project and I found myself captivated by the following phrase....

"Could it be that there's a God with a love so scandalous, so wide, so deep, so vast, so high, so expansive, so welcoming and so inclusive…? "

Could there be a God with a love so scandalous?

Most people don't think so. Most people either think that if there is a God, he is cruel, uninvolved or non-existent. There are times when I am tempted to believe that....but then I remember who Jesus is.
Jesus shows us that God is involved, intimately acquainted with us and ever present. He lived in our shoes, ached, experienced hunger, and ultimately sacrificed his life for ours.

If I truly believe that Jesus is God, I am ALL in because who wouldn't want to follow someone with a love so scandalous.

These days some of my most profound moments with God happen the gym. Sweaty, grunting and panting through my workout, I find tears gliding down my cheeks, I find my heart wrenching and softening ....becoming putty in His hands.  I find myself relinquishing everything that burdens me.

What I love the most, is that these moments happen in a sweaty gym,  over  sink of dirty dishes,  and in the throes of making supper for tired, cranky kids.

They are profound, undeniable and  startlingly beautiful.

Finally!

This past week I FINALLY figured out how to take the kind of photos I have been longing to take. 

It's sounds silly to admit this, after having owned a digital SLR for over seven years, but I have been terrified of shooting on M (manual).  I couldn't for the life of me, wrap my head around  how the ISO, shutter speed and aperture worked together.  For some reason, everything finally clicked.

I am doing a happy dance over here.