Deeper Thoughts" "Who do you say that I am"?

I often like to listen to worship music when I am cooking dinner or washing a mountain of dishes at the end of the day. It drowns out the sound of my children bickering and helps keep my heart in the right place. A couple months ago, I was listening to music on spotify when "Let it be Jesus"  by Christy Nockels started playing. I suddenly found my heavy heart springing to life.

In that instance, my heart was particularly heavy, especially in the wake of

reading a book called "How Jesus became God" by Bard D. Ehrman. It's a book that I have wanted to read ever since I spotted it at chapters a couple years ago. It deals with a difficult and intimidating topic but one that I have been thinking about researching for some time.

Some people are able to accept things easily, but for some reason, I continually wrestle with my faith and beliefs. Perhaps it is because one time a  friend said "maybe you believe what you believe because you want to it to be real so badly". Nevertheless, I  find myself continually examining my beliefs, weighing them, testing them and ultimately, challenging them. I refuse to believe something just because I have been told to or because I "should".

The topic of Jesus is one that I am heavily invested in. Why?

Who Jesus IS MATTERS to me. It is the crux of my faith. If Jesus is not God, it changes EVERYTHING. If Jesus is not 'the visible image of the invisible God", then my understanding of who God  is, is flawed and incomplete. It means I only have half the picture. It means that the only aspects of God that I know are those that are demonstrated in the first half of the Bible.  It means that we have not been liberated from the old system that was in place during in the Old Testament among MANY other things.  If Jesus is not God, then I am following someone who was either delusional or skilled at convincing people that he was God.

Many people believe that he was a good man, a prophet, or a teacher. Others believe that Jesus was Satan's brother, a glorified man, wise man, or an apostle of God.

In Mark 8:28 Jesus asks, "Who do you say that I am"?

Now that is a powerful question!

This morning I was listening to "Barabas" from Judah Smith's "Jesus_Is" project and I found myself captivated by the following phrase....

"Could it be that there's a God with a love so scandalous, so wide, so deep, so vast, so high, so expansive, so welcoming and so inclusive…? "

Could there be a God with a love so scandalous?

Most people don't think so. Most people either think that if there is a God, he is cruel, uninvolved or non-existent. There are times when I am tempted to believe that....but then I remember who Jesus is.
Jesus shows us that God is involved, intimately acquainted with us and ever present. He lived in our shoes, ached, experienced hunger, and ultimately sacrificed his life for ours.

If I truly believe that Jesus is God, I am ALL in because who wouldn't want to follow someone with a love so scandalous.

These days some of my most profound moments with God happen the gym. Sweaty, grunting and panting through my workout, I find tears gliding down my cheeks, I find my heart wrenching and softening ....becoming putty in His hands.  I find myself relinquishing everything that burdens me.

What I love the most, is that these moments happen in a sweaty gym,  over  sink of dirty dishes,  and in the throes of making supper for tired, cranky kids.

They are profound, undeniable and  startlingly beautiful.