A few things I've learned

These are just a few things I have learned over the course of the past seven years.

1). That chickpeas from a can is not a "meal".

2). That washing towels with dishrags is a bad idea - unless you like smelling like one after taking a nice clean shower. Yuck!

3). That bringing up a deep subject just as my husband and I are climbing into bed is a BAD idea

4). That my husband requires sauce on EVERYTHING, even if it tastes spectacular on its own. I have learned to not take offence.

5). That my child will not implode if we are off schedule or she is not in bed "on time".

6). That exercise keeps me sane.

7). That the best way to clean a floor is on your hands and knees.

8.) That I have quite an embarrassing temper at times.

9.) That I won't implode if I don't make my bed every morning.

10. That I am NOT a hermit and I NEED people.

Winter is nearly here

I woke up yesterday morning to find that a heavy frost had covered our little world. After Amelia and I ate our breakfast, we bundled up and went out for a walk. I couldn't help but take pictures and these are a few of my favorites:









By the time we started heading home, with pink noses and cheeks, snow had begun to fall softly around us. I was delighted!

When Amelia went down for a nap I pulled out some of my favorite Martha Stewart magazines for some crafty inspiration. I'm serious I need to take up knitting, especially when there is the potential to make something as adorable as these stuffed creatures.....



Later that day I found a link to a great esty.com site where one can download cute crochet patterns. Here is the link if you want to check it out: http://www.etsy.com/listing/55182306/spring-bloom-hat-crochet-pattern-pdf
I would love to learn how to make this adorable hat.



Until then, I'll just cherish this tiny little handmade booties Amelia wore when she was an infant. She has a bigger pair now and she wears them nearly every day.



P.S. Sorry about not posting the recipe for the pumpkin bread. I think it got accidentally thrown into the trash. *sniff*.

Pumpkin bread and other wonderful things

I am sitting here at my computer as the scent of cream cheese pumpkin bread fills the house. The sun is streaming through the windows on squeaky clean floors. Nathaniel has taken Amelia into town with him to run errands and pick up groceries, which means that I have at least five hours of free time to spend as I wish. My plan is to clean for the first two hours and then do some fun stuff. I may even be able to squeeze a bike ride in before they get home. So excited!





Some people may think that stay home mom's have endless time on their hands but in reality 90% of that time is centered around meeting the needs of a little one. Finding time to go on the Internet, work out and even eat a meal in peace are not easily accomplished. Some days, Amelia is willing to sit in her chariot while I run for an hour and other days she won't sit still for 5 minutes. Some days I can cook a gourmet meal and clean the kitchen, other days I am lucky if I can throw some lettuce and raw veggies in a bowl for dinner. Fortunately, Nathaniel likes salad and never complains. Some days Amelia happily plays on her own for 20 minutes at a time, giving me the chance to tidy the house or blog, but most of the time she pats the ground beside her inviting me to play with her. It really is quite sweet and I can never resist it. This morning, while we were out for our early morning walk, Amelia said "thank you" for the first time after I asked her to put down the piece of firewood she taken from our neighbors yard. That made me smile. Sometimes she can can be so darn cute!

It looks as though I will be able to visit my family in a couple of weeks. Nathaniel has another course so i decided to catch up on some much needed visiting with friends and family. I know that my mom is looking forward to seeing Amelia and the new things she is up to. I am REALLY excited about my ultrasound as there is still a possibility I may be able to find out the gender of my baby. As I mentioned on face book, we are toying with the idea of waiting until Christmas to find out, but I am not sure it I am patient enough. I would like to start calling my little one by their name.

Well enough blogging for today. I am going to play now and maybe play dress up in my clean room!





Jocelyn

Fun in the city

I just got home from spending four glorious days in Prince George. Nathaniel had a course and his hotel was covered so Amelia and I decided to accompany him. While he attended class, Amelia and I went swimming, shopped, ate out, watched TV, got lost, and visited some neat book stores. I did my best to practice restraint and not buy everything in sight. There is a HUGE list of books I am dying to read. Other than that, I really enjoyed catching up on my quota of Starbucks beverages.






Amelia LOVED swimming. Her whole body wiggled with excitement every time her toes touched the water.Nathaniel didn't waste any time dunking her under the water and chucking her in the air; both of which she loved.She must have gone down the slide a million times because she slept like a rock that night. As exciting as the pool was, she also thoroughly enjoyed the change room where she climbed in and out of lockers while I took my time getting dressed.



It was nice to have a break from washing dishes, cleaning, and our daily routine. We ordered in all our favorite foods, which was a treat. I had masaman curry (one of my mainstays while I was in Thailand), some incredible tagliatelle with artichokes and sun dried tomatoes, pirogi pizza from Boston pizza,Indian butter chicken and numerous other yummy things.

Some prego pictures.....

I was editing my closet today, (getting rid of clothing I no longer wear) and decided that I should take some belly shots. I am 17ish weeks pregnant and I have been showing for about a month. I don't think I had a tummy until I have 5 months pregnant with Amelia, but I am enjoying it. I am trying to enjoy what little time I have left in my favorite jeans. Things are already feeling a lot tighter.

I don't like halloween

I love love love autumn and all that it entails. I love apple cider, picking out pumpkins... baking with them, eating copious amounts of squash (as I have mentioned before), taking walks in the cool fall air, gathering pretty leaves, sipping pumpkin spiced lattes form Starbucks, making a fire, and pulling out my scarves and hats and cooing over the ones I haven't seen for a WHOLE year... I have quite a collection. Perhaps I should take a photo of them all sometime. Halloween on the other hand, I could do without. I don't like the ugly nasty decorations people put on their lawns, the scary costumes people wear, the celebration of all things ghoulish, dead and evil and the low grade candy. Yes, I am a bit of a candy snob. I am always amazed when I ask people what there favorite celebration is and they announce cheerfully "Halloween". I just don't get it!

I feel a lot more like my normal self today. Reasons:

1) My daughter let me sleep in until 7am this morning...

2) I sat in a rocking chair and let the sun's warmth soak into me while I did my devotions.

3) Spent some time making some cards and a layout with the verse from Corinthians.

4) Connected with my heavenly father. The best part of my day.

5) Went for a 8km run in the fresh air while Amelia read books in her chariot. This is her pushing it around the yard while I was lacing up.



5) Ate a big pile of vegetables for dinner.

Feeling like a failure

Okay - so this post is not going to be terribly joyful, but it is honest.I have been feeling like a failure these days for many reasons. .......

1) I have not been a very good wife these past few months. I have been feeling cranky and irritated with my husband and not a ton of fun to be around. He deserves better. Whenever I get off track in the marriage department I know that it is because I have not been spending enough time in the arms of Jesus. I can't possibly expect Nathaniel to meet ALL my needs, and to do so is foolish... and disastrous.

2) That leads me to my next area of failure - not spending enough or any time in devotions and prayer. I have been distracted, uninterested, selfish and plain lazy. This fact alone effects my life more than anything else and yet, ironically, it is often the thing most easily neglect.

3)I have been eating too much. I keep telling myself that I will get back on track after Thanksgiving or after I get back from Prince George.... but the reality is that I don't feel like practicing self control. Horrible isn't it.

4) Feeling like a bad mom. Where do I even begin on this topic. Today I went out for lunch with Amelia at our one and only restaurant and while I was chatting with the cook, she kept commenting on how cute Amelia was. At one point she said "how could anyone ever get mad at someone as sweet as her", and I honestly said, "I do". She looked shocked and appalled. I don't know if she was more surprised at my admission or the fact that I actually get mad at my child. *sigh* Motherhood sure is a humbling profession. If I thought I was perfect, (which I know I am NOT), motherhood has informed me that I am indeed, imperfect in a million ways. I have realized how impatient I am, how selfish, how controlling, and how uncaring I can be. I'm not painting a very nice picture of myself am I? The truth is that I get frustrated and lose my temper so easily. A lot of the time I can hardly wait until 7pm so I can put her to bed and have a couple hours to myself. The other day I told Nathaniel that her whining sounds worse than a mosquito in my ear. Loving aren't I? And yet, every day I choose to meet her needs, cuddle her, kiss her ouch es better, encourage her to explore the world around her, comfort her in the middle of the night, nurse her, scrape her spaghetti off the walls and make her giggle. I know what Corinthians says about love and I often fall short, but the truth is I can't do it on my own. God's description of love is SO much greater than mine even on a good day, ex. 1 Cor. 13

"love is patient, love is kind..... it is not rude or self seeking... it does not give easily to anger"

5). Not exercising lately.

6). Not being hospitable. Some people are gifted at inviting people to their home, cooking delicious meals and being social. The thought of having people over to my home for a meal terrifies me. It nearly makes me feel sick to my stomach. As a christian I am called to be hospitable, to make my home welcome to others... but I find it incredibly difficult. I'm worried that my guests won't like the food I prepare, will think that I am boring, and think my house is cluttered and unattractive. I often find that when i am decorating my house i think, I wonder what "so and so would think of that", rather than just decorating for myself. I like my space, I like my down time and having people over often feels inconvenient. It's terrible... I know and I want to change these things about myself but I am not sure how to go about it. We have some new neighbors and they have invited us over a few times. I know that it is my turn but I keep putting it off. Having someone over for tea and cookies does not intimidate me but I get a little obsessed with making sure my house is clean first. Good grief!

7. Wasting my time doing useless things when I could be using my time more wisely.

Well, I hope I haven't thoroughly depressed you. I have not been blogging in the hopes that these feelings would pass and I would have something more uplifting to write about, but decided I might as well just be honest. I always appreciate when others are vulnerable and authentic and it is high time I start doing it as well.

Can't stop cooking.......

I made the most delicious curried butternut squash soup tonight. THE BEST! I am utterly stuffed and I still want more. I have been looking for a good squash soup for awhile when my neighbour came over to bring me a fresh loaf of oatmeal molasses bread. (So yummy)! I gave her a couple of the spaghetti squash Nathaniel and I had grown in our garden and we discussed our mutual love for all varieties of squash. One of my favorites is called the Jarrahdale pumpkin or the Australian butter pumpkin.



I picked it up for the first time at the Laity Pumpkin patch because I thought it looked ghoulish and funky. It wasn't until an Australian friend of mine came over and noticed it on my deck, that I found out how delicious it is to eat. It is now, hands down, my favorite. What is your favorite squash? Why? And, how do you like to eat it? If you leave a comment I will enter you in my giveaway. The prize is a secret, but if you win I will send it to you in the post.

Love Jocelyn

Thoughts about the future....

Lately I have been thinking a lot more about the future and what it may hold for me and my family. Sometimes I get so wrapped up and bogged down by the now that I forget to remember that life is not static. As much as I love our little country existence I REALLY look forward to attending a bigger church, having a babysitter so Nathaniel and I can have dates nights (without Amelia), being able to shop at farmer's markets, or the freedom to pop down to the local grocery store for something instead of waiting for our next journey into town (112km away). That being said, I am going to miss the wide open spaces, the sound of cows mooing all day long, the quiet, the slow pace of life and the country folk.

I have also been starting to daydream a little about what I would like to do with myself once my children, I plan on having three, start attending school. As much as I love the arts, crafting and social work I am really warming up to the thought of becoming a doula and then, perhaps, a midwife. Birth fascinates me, and it is something I can't stop reading about. I love hearing women's stories - the good the bad and the ugly. I think that midwifery empowers women to have choices about their bodies during labour and birth.

Ordered this darling hat for Amelia. Can't wait till it arrives in the post.



Perhaps I will order these next......



Sorry for the lack of personal pictures. My computer isn't reading my memory cards at present.