Saturday, October 3, 2015

The value of time apart

It is days like today that remind me how important it is to give your life partner time. .. time to pursue the hobbies that give them purpose outside their role as a parent or husband. Time to fill up their reservoirs.

Nathaniel uses his "free" time to do a variety of  things. Sometimes it is a two hour jaunt in a tree stand twenty minutes from home. Other times, it is ten day trip into the wilderness to hunt caribou. Sometimes it means searching for bonsai, admiring rare varieties of orchids, doing woodworking in his shop, searching for creatures in tidal pools, tending his bee hives, working in the garden we have at a farm across the road, shooting his bow in the meadow behind our home, snorkeling in the ocean, mountain biking with a friend, working out in the gym, rock climbing, or fly fishing.

Thankfully, Nathaniel also understands how essential it is for me to have hobbies outside of my role as a mother and a wife.  I use my "free time" to run, breath new life into furniture, journal, ride my bike, read, blog, re-arrange furniture in my house, make cards for my friends, take photos, document my family's memories, lift weights, have tea and good quality conversation with a friend, bake, play dress up, and have the odd weekend away with girlfriends.
I feel as though these hobbies allow us to grow and invest in ourselves as well as our relationship. While Nathaniel is my partner in life, I can't possibly expect him to  fulfill all my complex and varied needs. To do so would be unfair and unrealistic. Having time away to pursue our interests allows us to draw from something other than each other to fill us up.  I have NO desire to spend two weeks in the wilderness hunting for some elusive beast, but I am more that happy to send him with a guy who is over the moon to do so. When my husband returns he is beaming from ear to ear, elated, tanned, bearded and smelling of evergreens. Conversely, he has NO desire to spend hours having deep conversations or go trail running through the woods. Thankfully I have girlfriends who are just as enthusiastic as I am about doing those things. *BLISS*
Being away from each other gives us chance to appreciate each other. I KNOW my husband appreciates me on another level after he has taken care of three children on his own for a weekend, and I appreciate him when he returns from a hunting trip because he pounces on me like a wild animal. *snicker*

More than anything, I love that we continue to find one another interesting.

1 comment:

Caroline said...

Love this post Jocelyn !